Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
all we got didn't cost us everything
SSar's Beast
Usually, in the shower, I get writing ideas. Today it clicked that in one week we transfer a LOT of money and sign the deeds of settlement on OUR HOUSE. It, huh, does not feel real. It has, ironically, a 'life for rent' sense, in that if someone told me tomorrow, "oh, there was a problem, you haven't actually bought a house," my first reaction would be closer to, "Oh, okay," than !!!!!??.

I want to send the vendors, a mother and daughter, a densely-written card. We haven't spoken to them; have only communicated very little through agents. I'm stuck on I hope you don't miss this place too much and We will love it so much, I love it already and I wish you well wherever you're going. All very... high level. Gushy. I want to find my way towards something specific enough to be believably personal.

Other things: Work is fine. One of the most knowledgeable members of my team is leaving, moving countries. I really like him and will miss him. As a consequence, my boss sent around the job ad she's about to put up. It was weird to see a very similar ad to the one I answered from the opposite side. Hard to put into words how much I'd had to guess at interpreting it then.

Yuletide is EVERYTHING ELSE. There's a pop-psych text/saying - I forget how it goes - about the large scheduled events in your life, like work hours or picking your kids up from school or doing this thing every week - being like large rocks you put in a jar, and it looks full but - then there's large gravel-ish bits of things that are more or less scheduled and more or less necessary, and you shake them in around the rocks - then there are smaller pebbly things you fit in around all these necessary things - and then you fill your life up with the tinier things, sand - and - you keep filling it up with smaller particles, even though on paper/in your head it's already full. Right now for me Yuletide is water. In and around everything thing else in my life, in and around every other thought.

I'm the kind of person who hits the snooze button a lot when their alarm goes off. When I go to sleep thinking about Yuletide, I don't wake up and hit the snooze button. I just roll over and catch up on my phone on Yuletide things.

Yuletide, water, is also like a strong current. I dip into it and I'm pulled far away from a conversation, to a different place in a day. I love it. I love being swept up in it.

After I post this, I'm going to
-wash some mushrooms and then braise them, as the first step in making marinated mushrooms, as a contribution to a lunch at a friend's home tomorrow
-work on a Yuletide task (making up fake other-fandom questions to send to someone whose author has a question that's specific to the fandom they matched on)
-try to re-book transferring our internet connection from the current house to the next
-work on a fic for a different fanwork exchange, Trick or Treat.

Other things I want to post about: recent exchange gifts & works; mnf-ness.

This entry is also posted at http://morbane.dreamwidth.org/33595.html. There are comment count unavailable comments. Please comment either here or there.

  • 1
I hope you blog about this next life phase. Home ownership!!! I'm so happy that you're happy about this! It's such a huge thing...and ambivalent feelings don't bode well. I resonate with your desire to thank the previous owners...a kind of passing of the abode torch.

You sound great! Glad you've got that immersion feeling! It keeps everything exciting and fresh!

I'll try! I think it'll sort of come rushing up in the next few days. Hitting the ground.

I do feel inspired by your occasional comments on redecorating, redesigning, paring down. I like to think of a house as malleable. I hope to gain confidence in adding and making and repairing.

Sounds like there's a lot going on for you - I wish you luck with it all.

The first night in your own bed in your own house is a really good one. Hold on to that thought.

  • 1