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Dear Bad Bang Badger
SSar's Beast
This is my letter for the Bad Bang 4 exchange.

Dear Badger, you should know up front that I sign up to exchanges so I can write things, not so I can read things. So it doesn't really matter what you write or draw for me. Just ensure it's a heartbreaking masterpiece of stunning genius and we'll be fine. At least that way other people might kudos it.

Here are my fandoms. I'm too busy to add in the characters I asked for right now, but it should be pretty obvious.

Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
This was my first real fandom. My best friend at the time, J, gave me the Red and Blue game files and an emulator when I was about 13, and I played Pokémon compulsively and watched the T.V. show every afternoon after school at 4pm. Ash was kind of annoying, but I loved the world. I loved it because it didn't make sense, you know?

My friends and I went to see the first movie in a large group. Years later, J gave me the official movie soundtrack for my birthday.

I still remember saving up with another friend to go halves on the Pokémon Gold and Silver Official Perfect Guide & Exclusive 90-PAGE Pokédex. I have that right beside me as I type, as her interest waned before mine did, so I got to keep it.

I wrote Pokémon fanfic all through high school. A lot of it is incomplete. I made a few friends that way, including a girl who lived across the world from me, in the United States. I used to email her almost every day. When I was 16, and my parents and I visited America (we have family there), our parents agreed that we could meet. That was so exciting. She gave me a hand-made Ampharos plushie I still have. We lost contact a few years later as we were both busy with university, but I still think of you fondly, D. Drop me a line!

My actual favourite Pokémon game isn't a Pokémon game at all. It's the fake version of Pokémon Diamond that "came out" before the real Pokémon Diamond was available. It was based on something called Telefang, and translated very weirdly. You still collect monsters in wilderness areas and battle them with one another, but you summon them with phone calls and they consider curry a matter of great civic importance, and they level up if you combine them with household items like televisions. So weird! It's great.

I have also played Ruby and Sapphire, but that's where my knowledge of the Pokémon world ends.

*happy sigh*

Oh right. I have no idea what I want for this request.

Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer

Twilight was great, but it could have used more fallen angels and wings and period-accurate clothing porn. What's the point of having all these immortal characters and no clothing porn?

Also, Victoria was SO pretty. What should have happened was that when Edward killed James, Victoria should have decided to seduce Bella in revenge. Write it plz. Can be Edward/Bella/Victoria threesome if you want. Okay if James is a zombie.

Also, has anyone noticed any other female-empowerment-fantasy canons in which the heroine is secretly special and has to choose between vampires and werewolves? This cries out for a Jupiter Ascending crossover, is all I'm saying. Also in both cases the lady ends up with a dude who has an irrational compulsion to bite them.

Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena

Utena fandom is full of sophisticated and subtle writing layered with complex imagery and relying on multiple frames of reference.

I don't want anything like that. Please write or draw me something where I know what's happening at all points. Use really small words if you have to. Avoid metaphors. Metaphors killed my cat.

How about songfic? You could write me a songfic to Donovan's Season of the Witch. That must be about Anthy because it mentions witches. If you write me a songfic, please keep in mind that I don't want any metaphors.

Alternately, you should write me a His Dark Materials crossover. Chu-Chu can be Anthy's daemon. Akio's car can be Akio's daemon.

Kingdom Hearts

I loved the first Kingdom Hearts game, but by the time I played it everyone was playing the sequel games and it was hard to find KH1-only fic and... Look, what I'm saying is, I've almost never read any Kingdom Hearts fic, so if you could write something that is an amalgamation of all of the best stories ever written for Kingdom Hearts, that would be really great, and I wouldn't feel like I'm missing out.

Marathon (Video Games)

I have to put down a fifth fandom, so... This is a tie in to the Maze Runner movie, right? I haven't seen that yet. In case I'm wrong and it's actually a tie in to the 300 movie, I have seen that one, so it's all good.

Vetos: graphic animal harm or harm to hands.

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