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An introspection on meta-angst.
SSar's Beast
I spent time today with two friends who share an effect on me: after I've talked to them, I am far more prone to self-revelation. Probably because Pip and Paul and I are all somewhat introspective (though not introverted) and we like thinking about what makes us and other people tick, and talking about it.

I walked home from a nice relaxed dinner/natter with Pip, mind buzzing with interest. (Getting fascinated about your own thought processes is pretty hypnotic.) The major insight boiled down to this: I spend an awful lot of time feeling miserable about things I don't need to, but I spend even more time feeling guilty about that tendency.

I'm allowed to be angsty. It's okay. Maybe I'm more angsty than some other people. That's okay too. What's not allowed is spending excess time in various forms of, "But what if they think I'm angsty?"/ "I can't believe I'm worked up over this, everyone would agree that's ridiculous," "I count as an angsty person because of these incidents," / "Person X! I will tell you how sorry I am for that angsty thing I did once, please forgive me, no that's not the end of it, we have to deconstruct it and you have to tell me it's okay."

And that boils down to, as usual, "don't judge yourself so much." Not much of a revelation, I guess. Perhaps a better description would be the correct application of perspective.

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The correct application of perspective is a valuable commodity and so few people actually possess it. There are people who focus entirely on themselves and people who focus on what other people think of them and not much in between.

Thinking about thinking sounds like a wonderful way to while away the hours, possibly whilst ensconced in a rocking chair.

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